"Everything is blamed for taking chopsticks too far" Fat daughter-in-law and Japanese mother-in-law talk three steps back and use respect to help "question" to help you understand

"In the past, people who had been ridiculed with chopsticks would marry far away. Perhaps because of their childhood habits, they really married to Japan!" Fat daughter-in-law, a blogger who is a fan of face book "Everything is blamed for holding chopsticks too far away", wrote this on the webpage. In the posts, you can see her life after marrying into Japan. Sometimes she talks about work, sometimes she shares interactions with her husband and wife and children, and many things that impress her when she is with her mother-in-law.

When talking about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the fat daughter-in-law laughed and said: She is very close to her mother-in-law and almost talks about her. In daily life, the mother-in-law will also care about her big and small things, which is completely different from the initial imagination of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

For fat daughter-in-law who is completely unfamiliar with no Japanese sense, deciding to marry far away from Japan is a big challenge. I have also been worried about whether I can play the role of a good daughter-in-law for countless times. She admitted that the sarcastic and mean appearance of the mother-in-law in Japanese dramas will always be performed in the brain, especially the mother-in-law who looks serious. Therefore, the initial expectation of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is "don't be too bad."

"However, I realized after getting married that my mother-in-law is not as strict as I imagined."

In addition to being a particularly accommodating person, I also found that my mother-in-law has enough trust in her son and is willing to believe and recognize herself. The fat daughter-in-law said that since the parents-in-law’s home set up a traditional Japanese hot spring hotel, it is a representative industry in Japan, it will be particularly important for the in-laws to be able to win a daughter-in-law, but can a foreigner do it? In fact, the fat daughter-in-law was not sure about her, but the mother-in-law believed in the choices her son made and was willing to hand over this important responsibility to herself.

Growth backgrounds are different. The mother-in-law has expectations but doesn't say

Although the father and mother of the fat daughter-in-law did not specifically criticize what she should do after becoming a daughter-in-law, from the youngest listening to the Taiwanese song "As a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy must have a certain imagination about what the daughter-in-law should do, just like a lyric. What to do: My daughter-in-law has to go to bed late and get up early, comb her head and apply powder and rouge, step into the stove and wash dishes, etc. After marriage, she lives with her parents-in-law, and will also work hard to do these things and pay attention to the gifts in life. However, due to her different growth backgrounds, it is difficult for her to achieve the time when her mother-in-law is looking forward to it.

Fat daughter-in-law shared that although the mother-in-law is looking forward to what she can do as a daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law doesn't understand and will not guide what she should do. Sometimes it will make the fat daughter-in-law constantly guess and be at a loss. She pointed out that she lived with her parents-in-law, although she had their own living rooms and rooms, but the family shared a bathroom. After marriage, her mother-in-law never asked her to sweep the entire home and bathroom. The fat daughter-in-law was busy with work and did not notice that she was taking the initiative to do these family affairs. The mother-in-law felt uncomfortable and complained to her husband. Although the husband was worried that she was injured, she chose a marriage contract for a long time. He told himself the right time, but the fat daughter-in-law still felt a little sorry and grieved. "Since the education I received in Taiwan is mostly performed by assigned tasks, it is difficult for him to understand what he should do when he is not assigned tasks. If my mother-in-law tells me, I will definitely do it as I do!"

talked to my mother-in-law three steps back and in honor. Compared with Taiwan, Japan is a country that focuses more on the gifts. It is conceivable that there are many established expectations and requirements for the daughter-in-law. The fat daughter-in-law said that her mother-in-law once told her that in the past tradition, when the daughter-in-law lived with her parents-in-law and shared a bathroom, the order of bathing must be divided according to the order. Men are superior to women, and father-in-law must wash first. In addition, they also specifically require that the daughter-in-law be able to do food. However, the mother-in-law does not force her to do what she should do. "Mother-in-law is a person who is willing to accept new ideas, and she also wants to work hard to cooperate with the ideas and habits of young people."

Although the mother-in-law is generous and does not have any special requirements for many details, most of the time, the fat daughter-in-law still cares a lot. Therefore, at home, the fat daughter-in-law is usually She still gives her mother-in-law a first choice. Since the Japanese are tempted to take a bath, she will help her to let the water out in advance. Even though she has been married for more than ten years, she still takes three steps back and talks with respect. She believes that although they are very familiar with each other, they have to be gifted. They do not cross each other's boundaries, so that they can maintain good interactions between themselves and their mother-in-law.

Morning sickness is not a disease. After using her past experience to compare her mother-in-law for a long time, she will find that she is a person with a heart-warming heart in private. The environment she has been in the past makes her wear a mask. As a powerful person, it is also extremely difficult for her to walk through the path she has walked. Although she does not force her daughter-in-law to experience the same torture as herself, she will inevitably have the idea of comparing her past experience.

The fat daughter-in-law pointed out that she often couldn't go to work due to severe morning sickness when she was pregnant. At that time, although her mother-in-law still let her rest at home, and often cared about her and asked if she wanted to cook something for herself, but later, she couldn't help but reveal that she thought morning sickness was not a disease. She used to vomit and work, so she would do it. I forgot about morning sickness and told her: "It's so difficult now, and it will be harder to take a child in the future." Although the fat daughter-in-law doesn't agree so much, she will not deliberately oppose her mother-in-law. For her, her mother-in-law is a long-term and must respect her. Because there is a man behind her who has always supported her, she can face the trivial things in these relationships calmly..

When you are wronged. Fortunately, my husband supports

Even though he has a good relationship with his mother-in-law, he not only often takes care of his daily life, but also loves houses and urans, buys gifts to give to his son, and also gives him one. However, the daughter-in-law and son are still different, especially the mother-in-law who is already drowning son, and when encountering an occasional conflict, the fat daughter-in-law still has to carry a black man.

She recalled: "This is the first time when she had a head-on conflict with her mother-in-law!" It was after the collapse period of morning sickness that she had finished her morning sickness, and she met a customer who wanted to pay more and let him check out at night. Although the hot spring hotel book stipulates that one and two meals should be included in one night, because the number of rooms was still small at that time, the fat daughter-in-law asked for the husband's consent, so that the guests would make an exception and leave at night. Unexpectedly, her parents-in-law was furious and called her to the front and scolded her.

At the moment, the fat daughter-in-law felt very wronged and thought to herself, "I have asked your son. He said yes, why didn't you blame your son?" So she endured the water and complained to her husband after returning home. Fortunately, the husband stood on the same line as her, comforted herself and felt dissatisfied for herself, so she slightly relieved her difficulties. The fat daughter-in-law said that the gentleman would support him no matter what, as if he had become another small escape port for him. He would be in front of him when he was difficult and faced with any problems.

Facing conflict or error. She actively admits the wrong apology

or maybe it is that the mother-in-law and her birthday are one day apart. For mother-in-law of the same zodiac sign as her, the fat daughter-in-law can still detect her mother-in-law's affection. She said that when her mother-in-law is in a good mood, she will care about herself when replying to messages or conversations. If she does something badly, the message she replied to will be very short and will not start another new topic to express her concern.

When I found that the interaction between my mother-in-law and myself was different from usual, the fat daughter-in-law would first recall what she had done, because she did not do well, and apologized to her mother-in-law in a gentle way. "If I guess what my mother-in-law is angry about, my mother-in-law will have a lot of things to tell me what to do. At this time, she can be used as a learning method to give herself room to grow. If she doesn't guess correctly, then she will dress up like nothing, and I will continue thinking." By actively looking at herself and asking her mother-in-law to resolve disputes or misunderstandings, the two can also have more communication and understanding of each other.

Please teach everything. I don’t talk to my mother-in-law about whether there are any different opinions from my mother-in-law in the child’s education. The fat daughter-in-law believes that she has little experience in taking the child and will not insist on how to take the child, but will ask her mother-in-law’s suggestions. Therefore, there are almost no different opinions from her mother-in-law.

In addition, my mother-in-law is also the supervisor of her work. If there are many things that my mother-in-law doesn't teach her, she will ask her when she encounters problems, which will become a habit of "question".

The fat daughter-in-law is very grateful for her mother-in-law for giving her room for growth and teaching herself a lot of things. "It is also because she often asks her that she can feel respected and needs, making our relationship more closely related. She can talk to her mother-in-law about those questions that she doesn't know how to talk to her mother-in-law." However, she also said that the premise is to be able to respect her mother-in-law. "If I change to her, I talk about her very unpretentiously, and I will mind if I have some problems." The fat daughter-in-law often stands at the mother-in-law's position, and after treating her mother-in-law's mood, she can even explain her. Sometimes she even feels that she is not good, thanks for her hard work in her patience!

When we traveled across the ocean to marry Japan, even though there are many differences in habits and perceptions, the fat daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law have also maintained a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law through respect and maintaining a comfortable distance. Looking at the two people in the photo showing smiles, we can feel the happiness of the two people in the relationship!

The way of getting along with mother-in-law & little step

1. Similarly, the mother-in-law

The fat daughter-in-law said that the daughter-in-law should be on the side of the mother-in-law and think about the same thing. Without the mother-in-law's behavior, she would think about whether she would have the same feeling if she was the role of the mother-in-law.

2. Maintaining a favorable and respecting people, only by respecting others can you get respect from the other party. Especially the mother-in-law is a long-lasting woman, and she is also a predecessor in life. She still needs to do the necessary gifts and festivals. Even if you don’t recognize some of your mother-in-law’s practices, you should be as unfair as possible and don’t have to have too much conflict with your mother-in-law.

3. Mr. Support

When encountering problems with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, with Mr. Support, you can have more strength to face and deal with it. When the husband believes in himself, we will feel that he is standing by himself and is a very strong backer, and we can comfort ourselves not to mind the conflict with our mother-in-law.

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